Choose your crew WISELY!

So the proposal is done, now for the planning. What theme will you use? Where will you have the wedding? Whats you're wedding dress going to look like? Then the unavoidable question arises, who will you choose to be your bridesmaids? Choosing a bridesmaid comes with careful thinking and thought. If you rush your pick, inevitably you might end up with irresponsible, unenthusiastic, or friends that are not up for the assignment and can cause stressful situations. You will have enough to put on your plate on that fast pace day, the last thing you need is a bridesmaid weighing in on your shoulders. These women will be an important part of the event, and it’s essential that you choose wisely. Heres a few tips on how to narrow down your bridesmaid crew!

  1. Don’t make quick assumptions- You might have a couple of friends that are going through problems right now, one might be going through a break up with her cheating boyfriend, another might be facing financial debt. Don’t write off your friends if you know this is something they were looking forward to. Offer them the position, but also let them know if they decline, then you would be in complete understanding. If however, you make an irrational assumption, and refuse to ask them, this might cause them to feel betrayed or hurt. If your bridesmaid dresses are designer dresses, and they’re financial debt is getting in the way of purchasing the dress, promise to find something else for her to do in the wedding that is inexpensive, but still thoughtful.
  2. More isn’t always better- It must be hard trying to narrow down the people you want right next to you on your wedding day. Sure, you would want anyone who ever touched your heart, who directed you to the right path, who was loyal to you. However choosing more people on the bridesmaid front may not be the wisest choice. It leaves room for more complications. If however, you choose one handful of bridesmaids, its easier to decide on what dress to pick and wear. More people would mean, you would have to have all of them agree and decide on a dress, shower date, and coordinate all the other joys of bridal party. If you’re on a budget, think about how much more money you would need to spend on the bridal gifts and so forth.
  3. Just because you were a bridesmaid in there wedding, they dont have to be in yours!-Thats right I said it. This isn’t a dinner party invitation that you need to reciprocate. And your circumstances aren’t the same. They might have been loaded with money, and thought quantity over quality. Don’t ask that best friend of elementary school to be in your wedding if you haven’t talked to them in years. Especially if its just to return the favor!
  4. Blood is thicker then water- So you and your sisters are close. However there is one out of the bunch, thats the monkey on your back. When everyone was supporting you, she was the one that had nothing but negative things to say. Your relationship with her is complex, but you love her none the less. Still, its worth having family up there to avoid unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings. Think of it like this, asking her might allow her to become more mature and responsible. And if that doesn’t work, you can always use it as a browning point when she’s back to her old habits.
  5. Theres not a law that only allows one maid of honor!- If you have 2 people you feel closest to, and absolutely can’t decide or refuse to ask either one of them, then have both of them there! Theres not a law about only having one bridesmaid to choose from. Be aware of the scuffling and arguing over who will hold the ring, the bouquet, stand right next to you, sign the license, and so on. Just tell them both what you specifically want each to do.


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